The Deva of Money
One of the biggest breakthroughs I have had in business came from a meditation I learned from Bari Tessler. If you don’t know Bari Tessler, she is a very smart person behind the book The Art of Money. I took her year-long course a few years back and it flat out changed my life. She breaks down in a really clear, easy to manage way, that most of our problems with money are not lack of skills, they’re emotional. Once you’ve got the emotional part on vibe, the skills are relatively easy. Like, budgeting isn’t hard. Forgiving yourself for spending five dollars on a coffee that you then knocked over without drinking, that’s hard.
During the course, Bari talks with Hiro Boga about money and energy and Hiro brought up this concept of a “deva of money.”
Now, before we go any further, I want you to know, I was way out of my comfort zone with this. You might think that having spent 10 years in a Buddhist monastery I would be pretty chill with quirky manifestations of spirituality. But monasteries, as it happens, are fairly conservative places. We actually didn’t talk about spirituality all that much.
Don’t get me wrong. There was weird stuff, and plenty of individuals with eclectic spiritual practices, but it was a very “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of scene. New age-y stuff was for sure below the radar.
And even though Zen differentiates itself from other forms of Buddhism in that monks are allowed to touch money, the Buddhist view of money as in impurity still prevailed. When we went out begging, we had special bags so that we could receive donations in a flap of cloth and slide it into the bag without ever actually touching it. In a ritual sense, money was still treated as in impurity, even if technically we were allowed to handle it.
From this background, bringing money into a ritual was very challenging for me. Trying to imagine a “Deva of Money” brought up all kinds of unpleasant emotions. This was clearly shadow work for me.
But, I like a challenge. So, I committed to creating a ritual. I found a silver dollar that someone had given me and I brought it to my meditation cushion. Already this felt like a sacrilege. I honestly worried that I would be punished for it.
I didn’t do anything in particular, but just allowing a coin to sit on my meditation cushion next to me while I sat brought up all sorts of feelings. Feelings of shame around under-earning, not really knowing how to budget, being given a pretty solid start in life which it felt like I squandered. Most of all being stuck in this hole, working too hard for too little, and essentially paying for the privilege of doing so since my income did not cover my expenses.
Not to mention all the macro elements of money. Marx writes that money comes into the world dripping with blood from every pore. The blood of slavery and exploitation. It’s a lot to take in, and it was a lot to have on my cushion.
And then to reckon with the undeniable fact that I wanted more of this horrible, dirty thing. Blech. But also, yum.
Three years later, I still have this coin on my altar. And my relationship with it has changed drastically. The first step was in recognizing and accepting the contradictions. They are still there. We still live in an economy that is brutally unfair and I’m still angry about it. I still need to reckon with it on a daily basis. But, I no longer feel the need to be a martyr. I want to have a good life and I want everyone to be taken care of. I think that’s realistic.
I want an end to capitalism, but there’s no opt out button for just one person. We all get out together or not at all. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to live well in the world.
That means doing my best to fight exploitation where I can, be in solidarity with others in struggle when I can. But also, not exploiting myself. It’s not just that I’m my own boss, I’m also my own union steward. If boss John tells me to do something that doesn’t seem fair, you bet union steward John is gonna have something to say about it.
Most recently, Union Steward John has instituted office nap time, and that’s where I’m headed.
Until next time!
I will be writing more about all this stuff soon:
Tips and tricks for your website
How to be in business for yourself, not just exploiting yourself for your business
Being Anti-Capitalist and still making crazy money and not being sorry about it.
And plenty of meditation and witchy self help stuff too.
I’d love to hear from you! What would you most like to read about?
