When you are your own boss, your happiness belongs to you!

It is a long hard road to job independence, and not everyday is a proverbial candy mountain.

I was just watching a video about a freelancer whose work I enjoy and she mentioned that she actually failed to quit her job the first time around. She started freelancing as per her plan, but two weeks later she was offered a job and she took it. She said, “the reason I failed was not because I was doing anything wrong in particular, I just felt so bad in myself. I kept worrying about where the next client was going to come from and I just wasn’t enjoying being at work.” 

In other words, she wasn’t objectively failing, she just convinced herself that she was failing despite not having enough evidence to know. Most new freelancers look about the same after two weeks in business, whether you are about to be an unmitigated success or an abject failure, by the two week mark, generally you are sitting there looking at your empty calendar wondering how long this can continue. 

The ups and downs to early freelance life are inevitable. And to a certain extent the emotions that go with that are also unavoidable. So along with your finances, your software, and marketing, you should have a plan ready to deal with the feeling of instability that arises as you embark on your freelance journey. 

I have three primary strategies for dealing with these feelings as they arise. 

1

Be quiet. Did you know I used to be a Zen monk? Yep, nearly 10 years. In that time I learned a little bit about meditation. But this technique is not really a full blown meditation, it's just what it sounds like. Be quiet. When you are quiet you can hear your surroundings, and it becomes clear that you are in them. Your surroundings are not feeling stress. Your surroundings are quiet. They are calm. They are full of space. The emotions you are feeling are happening in that context. It helps put your stress in perspective, because it can begin to feel like you are not the source of your stress, it’s just that the world is chaotic and stressful. When you are quiet you can see that it is not the whole world that is chaotic, it isn’t even your whole experience. It’s just the part you are paying the most attention to. Move your attention away from the stress and towards the stillness. 

2

Move your body. Emotions are not just a thing of your mind. There is a chemical component that is helped by being physically active. One, because you are moving the chemicals around your body and two because you are introducing new ones into your bloodstream. I find it especially effective if the activity removes me from my environment and takes me outside. In the summer I bike and in the winter I ski or snowboard. These are non-negotiable parts of my work day. 

3

Read. I was reminded how powerful reading is today when listening to a podcast about a man who spent 10 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. “How do you keep from going crazy?” the journalist asked. “I read,” he responded. If you are already a reader, take a moment to remember how powerful this habit really is. If you have fallen out of the habit, give it another try. May I recommend something with dragons in it? 

When you were working for a boss, they would deploy these tactics as a way to get you to work harder for them. Your own wellness was alienated from you as a tool for your employer to use against you. But as your own boss you can use these tools to empower yourself. Your wellness is yours to use and to enjoy. Become an expert in making yourself happy. It is your job and your responsibility to enjoy the fuck out of your time. 

Hope this helps:) 

Of Course there are other ways to reduce your stress…

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